Hello people!! It had been really long right?? I know....was kind of busy with exams n all :D .So yeah m little tired and hence will try to keep this as short as possible :).
As the title suggests, m gonna talk about ...well people i guess. Ohkay so i have this friend who is Gujarati , belongs to a very orthodox or at least a very traditional kinda family n guess what ?? Her parents have started fretting over her marriage already :P.So basically if uh r an Indian uh would know what exactly i m talking about .Here in India, marriage is quite a serious issue (n there is nothing bad about it really) ,specially if uh r a woman. Ultimately even in modern India (i dunno if i should even consider it modern ..i mean this is practically an insult to word "modern" no ?? :P) ,a woman's worth is still seen by her marital status. At least in a family like hers . Arrange marriages are quite common in India....n that's exactly what's happening here.
A few number of guys has already been arranged for her to meet (of course by her parents :P) n now she is devastated :P Great just great no?? Now all of uh would ask what's wrong with that?? it does happen here in India right??...n i would say that yes it does. But the thing is here its not as simple as marriage in.... i dunno perhaps west. With marriage here comes a lot of responsibilities because unlike west here in east. children living with their parents is a normal phenomenon ..n then they are expected to take care of them in their old age which again in my opinion they should :) ( I m completely alright with this yeah).but the thing is.,..it make things complicated fr women. Especially if uh r just 21 :P yeahhhh .....she is 21 :/
For instance ,my friend who is from a traditional typical gujju family n is gonna marry into one as well , will be supposed to say goodbye to her future plans for studying further n doing PhD or something :P Chances are that she will be married way before graduating :P ,Since her parents are in such a hurry to get her married . Anyways so yeah then she will be a full time homemaker (M using term "home maker" rather than "housewife" because i believe they r really awsum....they leave everything to provide us the comfy, nurturing environment :) they really make homes) and please her hubby's parents since she will be living with them . The thing is Indian societies are quite harsh with the new additions to the family n can be quite inflexible :/. It all would have been alright too.....if its not for her happiness . Goshh she is just 21 ...for god sake....n all the people are like hell bent on burdening her with this huge responsibility that comes with marriage :\
Yesterday i went to her house n she was really really upset. She said that she probably would not be able to finish graduation either,which she really wanna do. When i asked her...why does she not tell uncle n aunt about that, she said that its in her "kundli" . Either she will get married early or very late n by that i mean she should be married by 22-23 or else the marriage prospect will be postponed for kinda 7-8 years..which according to her is too long for a gujju girl. Hence she has to be married by next year n this all lead to me thinking about this whole issue logically hehe.
The first question is ....whats wrong with marriage after 25??? for many Indian community ..its practically a crime for a woman being 27 n still unmarried. I think its not only about India ,its about east . In china there is a term called "leftover women". Google it out if uh want to. So yeah usually when we ask parents about why it is like that?? The answer is simple!! Because that's how society works :P Its been happening since ages n hence its "Right"and "The ultimate truth" :P People wont even consider the trauma they r subjecting their daughters to...because well that's how society works :P If the society says that women who get raped..get raped because of girls wearing short skirts, or them going out after 7 pm or them going out without a guy or even a chowmein etc etc (god how fucking ridiculous this can be), then its the ultimate truth :P . Don't even think about teaching men to be appropriate or even consider them guilty . Whyyyy?? because that's been happening in India since ages .Even thats what our dear Bollywood portrays, really :P (Thank god its changing now,,,slowly but definitely). I wonder why people blame society when they are actually a part of it. Yes society is comprised of us,by people like us so why it is so frightening to even think about expressing ourselves??
Yesterday i asked my mom that why is it that people have lost their compassion?? why they just don't care nowadays?? n she said because people are just dat ... "people" . They are like a herd of sheep with no one to lead. They believe what they are said to...n are often unkind or unappreciative of people who don't agree with them. India is about unity in diversity ,but honestly its just a mask. U don't have to do much to create a drift among people. Say something bad about their community n uh r all set. They wont blink twice before reacting. Well sorry if i m using India again n again, but i cant say anything about other places because i have never been there. Though m sure "racism" is something which is prevailed pretty much everywhere :P. Its really like a crime to not agree with the crowd n have your own opinions nowadays. God forbid if uh actually dare to express them :P Why?? Exactly why there is such a need to confirm?? Change doesn't happen like dat ,at least not certainly by following the same obsolete traditions n values which are outdated. I completely agree that our traditions are our roots n we must value them. But time changes n we must keep in mind that even machinery need modifications from time to time,then why not us?? Things need to change :P Just because it has been happening n thats why it should be followed seems like an idiotic reason to me. Lol no no..don't question you stupid people.. its tradition "shhhh". Dont think if its good or bad, right or wrong.,,because thinking is irrelevant n idiotic n only fools do that okay?? :P
If the things which has been happening is right then why is there so much misery?? why as being a woman i does not feel safe going out?? why i feel sad wen my friend says she wants to complete her graduation but cant?? Something is definitely wrong with the equation here :P
I think its the big time that we stop blindly following the crowd n start questioning our ways. Start thinking as an individual with progressive views.....maybe then things will start moving :) What we need right now is empathy, which we sadly have lost. Empathy for others (regardless of their religion or gender) , empathy for animals, for everything . Lets express ourselves....n be there to listen to others too. It should always be a two way street with this. Lets try to make things better and leave behind this need to confirm :) BE ORIGINAL ;) Sayonara :*
As the title suggests, m gonna talk about ...well people i guess. Ohkay so i have this friend who is Gujarati , belongs to a very orthodox or at least a very traditional kinda family n guess what ?? Her parents have started fretting over her marriage already :P.So basically if uh r an Indian uh would know what exactly i m talking about .Here in India, marriage is quite a serious issue (n there is nothing bad about it really) ,specially if uh r a woman. Ultimately even in modern India (i dunno if i should even consider it modern ..i mean this is practically an insult to word "modern" no ?? :P) ,a woman's worth is still seen by her marital status. At least in a family like hers . Arrange marriages are quite common in India....n that's exactly what's happening here.
A few number of guys has already been arranged for her to meet (of course by her parents :P) n now she is devastated :P Great just great no?? Now all of uh would ask what's wrong with that?? it does happen here in India right??...n i would say that yes it does. But the thing is here its not as simple as marriage in.... i dunno perhaps west. With marriage here comes a lot of responsibilities because unlike west here in east. children living with their parents is a normal phenomenon ..n then they are expected to take care of them in their old age which again in my opinion they should :) ( I m completely alright with this yeah).but the thing is.,..it make things complicated fr women. Especially if uh r just 21 :P yeahhhh .....she is 21 :/
For instance ,my friend who is from a traditional typical gujju family n is gonna marry into one as well , will be supposed to say goodbye to her future plans for studying further n doing PhD or something :P Chances are that she will be married way before graduating :P ,Since her parents are in such a hurry to get her married . Anyways so yeah then she will be a full time homemaker (M using term "home maker" rather than "housewife" because i believe they r really awsum....they leave everything to provide us the comfy, nurturing environment :) they really make homes) and please her hubby's parents since she will be living with them . The thing is Indian societies are quite harsh with the new additions to the family n can be quite inflexible :/. It all would have been alright too.....if its not for her happiness . Goshh she is just 21 ...for god sake....n all the people are like hell bent on burdening her with this huge responsibility that comes with marriage :\
Yesterday i went to her house n she was really really upset. She said that she probably would not be able to finish graduation either,which she really wanna do. When i asked her...why does she not tell uncle n aunt about that, she said that its in her "kundli" . Either she will get married early or very late n by that i mean she should be married by 22-23 or else the marriage prospect will be postponed for kinda 7-8 years..which according to her is too long for a gujju girl. Hence she has to be married by next year n this all lead to me thinking about this whole issue logically hehe.
The first question is ....whats wrong with marriage after 25??? for many Indian community ..its practically a crime for a woman being 27 n still unmarried. I think its not only about India ,its about east . In china there is a term called "leftover women". Google it out if uh want to. So yeah usually when we ask parents about why it is like that?? The answer is simple!! Because that's how society works :P Its been happening since ages n hence its "Right"and "The ultimate truth" :P People wont even consider the trauma they r subjecting their daughters to...because well that's how society works :P If the society says that women who get raped..get raped because of girls wearing short skirts, or them going out after 7 pm or them going out without a guy or even a chowmein etc etc (god how fucking ridiculous this can be), then its the ultimate truth :P . Don't even think about teaching men to be appropriate or even consider them guilty . Whyyyy?? because that's been happening in India since ages .Even thats what our dear Bollywood portrays, really :P (Thank god its changing now,,,slowly but definitely). I wonder why people blame society when they are actually a part of it. Yes society is comprised of us,by people like us so why it is so frightening to even think about expressing ourselves??
Yesterday i asked my mom that why is it that people have lost their compassion?? why they just don't care nowadays?? n she said because people are just dat ... "people" . They are like a herd of sheep with no one to lead. They believe what they are said to...n are often unkind or unappreciative of people who don't agree with them. India is about unity in diversity ,but honestly its just a mask. U don't have to do much to create a drift among people. Say something bad about their community n uh r all set. They wont blink twice before reacting. Well sorry if i m using India again n again, but i cant say anything about other places because i have never been there. Though m sure "racism" is something which is prevailed pretty much everywhere :P. Its really like a crime to not agree with the crowd n have your own opinions nowadays. God forbid if uh actually dare to express them :P Why?? Exactly why there is such a need to confirm?? Change doesn't happen like dat ,at least not certainly by following the same obsolete traditions n values which are outdated. I completely agree that our traditions are our roots n we must value them. But time changes n we must keep in mind that even machinery need modifications from time to time,then why not us?? Things need to change :P Just because it has been happening n thats why it should be followed seems like an idiotic reason to me. Lol no no..don't question you stupid people.. its tradition "shhhh". Dont think if its good or bad, right or wrong.,,because thinking is irrelevant n idiotic n only fools do that okay?? :P
If the things which has been happening is right then why is there so much misery?? why as being a woman i does not feel safe going out?? why i feel sad wen my friend says she wants to complete her graduation but cant?? Something is definitely wrong with the equation here :P
I think its the big time that we stop blindly following the crowd n start questioning our ways. Start thinking as an individual with progressive views.....maybe then things will start moving :) What we need right now is empathy, which we sadly have lost. Empathy for others (regardless of their religion or gender) , empathy for animals, for everything . Lets express ourselves....n be there to listen to others too. It should always be a two way street with this. Lets try to make things better and leave behind this need to confirm :) BE ORIGINAL ;) Sayonara :*
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