A new learning experience :D

yo!! its been a while since i have been here :) well i wont say that i was busy.....but certainly i have my own ways of doing things :) i.e when i actually feel like it :D anyways..first of all hello ...well today had been a hectic day for me ....but there were incidents which had made the day fruitful :)
         Today we had been to "IBC 24" its a local but popular news channel here....n the experience was simply great :) before today i used to think that a job of a news reporter is pretty awesomely easy....but today i came to know how wrong i was actually....its a combined effort of an entire effing team to get that news to us. Hours of nonstop working that's what gives us the results what we watch on TV !! 
                                                      Anyways there was this very cute person...that i have liked the very moment i had set my eyes on ;) :P well after the whole "showing things around" scenario.....we all gathered in their conference room...and then he introduced himself to us!! i came to know that he was the in charge of marketing and research and development  department. later after brief introduction...we all asked him few questions about the place, job opportunities and all......after all that it was actually amusing to see how we all had jumped from being professional to utterly familiar and informal people . n it was fun!! 
        we had discussed a lot of thing to him...asked him sum very personal questions n everyone shared few things about them. It was really surprising for us when he said that how shy he was actually as a person n its was actually inspiring to learn that how can one evolve from being nothing to being so amiably smart just by trying. 
      "TRYING" it sounds so easy but in reality i think its the toughest thing to do specially when one has hopelessly given up :/ . I am very shy person though i m not introvert it is still very hard for a person like me to speak publicly...i always mess things up n its embarrassing :P anyways i have decided long ago to stop complaining things and start taking initiative .....so yeah that's what i m gonna do!! 
                                                
                   Sometimes we don't need a fairy godmother to show us the way..we just need to stop running, and see how every effing person we are surrounded by is effingly awsum. There is an inspiration everywhere :D so lets go out n explore the thing we want to explore, work on your weaknesses and turn them into your strength, lets do what we like and live our life...like no one had ever lived before (effingly cheerful ^_^)
 yeah so day was good...i have met few awesomely enchanting people, learned few thing about the technicalities about the new channels ;) n used another day of my life learning something new :) GN SD n Tc folks :*

Happy Endings :(

She knew..... this feeling was there since morning......this restlessness , now as she is picking out her outfit for the evening , she is still restless and dreading!! dreading what?? she don't know.
She choose her favourite dress....the one she had saved up for a whole month....she still remember how much she liked it ,From the very first time she had her eyes on that dress. She wanted to buy it  but she knew she couldn't afford it...."so what" she had thought...after awl life had never been easy on her...she smiles sadly. "I will buy that" she thought with determination n she did :) after months of saving ...she finally saved up enough to buy it . She can still feel it..the pride when she wore that dress for the first time , she knew even though life had never been fair to her, she always finds her way. That's the way she is, proud n elegant... even with all the imperfections she has .

She is unbreakable or that's what she has always thought but is she really?? Right now at the moment, as she is dressing up for the day she had waited for so long..she is not sure . she never thought that a mere phone call can affect her so much, so hard...that she is scared . She curls her hair, put on some makeup 'not too bright not too dull' just the way she likes it or rather he likes it .She chose the best pair of footwear, those platform heels he had bought for her on their fourth valentine....she was so happy then.....
               She is all ready now...so why is she not feeling like it?? The happiness, the excitement....nothing. there is nothing more she can do, she is tired now.
                  As she is preparing to leave .....she knows, she cant hide anymore....even if she is breaking  inside, she have to face it. she pulls out her car from the garage and drive to the place they have decided to meet . After parking her vehicle as she enters the room...her eyes roam around for a while searching for his curly tousled hair which she adores so much and then it happens she spots him, their eyes meet ....she is watching him as he is watching her, strolling across the room to his table.Her footsteps are heavy but she kept walking and then there she is ....standing in front of him. she smiled but he didn't return it. Her heart sink for a bit but she keep smiling.

She pulls the chair n take the seat. They look at each other n now she know, that she is not strong, strong enough to face this, the regrets in his eyes, the way they are refusing to meet hers, the way he is trying to look at anything but her, now suddenly she wished she wasn't here....anywhere but here :/
                           She smile at him again, pretending to be fine as the waitress take their order. she just ask for a cup of coffee, she is not hungry anymore.....she waits for few minutes, she wants him to say something.....after few more minutes which seems like hours , he ask her if she is fine and there she is with a lump in her throat and being the brave girl she has always been she replied "yes"
 .
   The waitress who has returned with their coffee...place them on the table n leaves hurriedly. 'May be she knows it too' she thinks bitterly. He speak again but once again the words are stuck in his throat.....she knew it, this is hard for a guy like him.to hurt someone else after awl this had always been his nature and this is the quality which had made her ,"a girl who swear to never love sum one " fall in love with him. n now that's what breaking her. The word she used to hate so much..."love". She didn't remember Wat actually love is..how could she?? an orphan who was disowned  by her parents , was left to fend for herself  in this cruel world, how can she know Wat it actually  feels to be loved, to be taken care of,....but she did!! she survived those harsh years and today being known as one of the best doctors in the city..she is happy!! she finally stand up on her feet, all proud n merry . Never once the thought of being shattered crossed her mind but here she is again, struggling to keep up with the facade of indifference she had created in front of the man she thought will never hurt her, a man she loves unconditionally.....she don't want to cry,no  not in front of him. She don't want him to know how much power he actually has over her...so she is smiling. Even though she is breaking , shattering she is smiling.

He is trying to say something but again renders speechless..finally she decides that she will spare him,... for the sake of his happiness... she will spare him of this situation!! she stands up n stay there for few seconds just watching him..taking him in....just.one last time, remembering all those days when things were lovely.. She noticed the untouched cup of coffee which was once an evidence of their blooming friendship...after awl this place was where they had met for the first time . She smiles one last time....and very lightly.. she whispers  "I understand" then turn around to leave......he didn't stop her..... n just like that everything ended. None of them said anything....to save whatever that was left between them...no one dared...afterawl

          True goodbyes are the ones which are left unsaid :(